Control

It is really satisfying to feel like we’re in control. To partake in activities that make us feel like we can control a part of our future even. We like this feeling so much it is actually an important factor in determining how motivated we are to do something.

But the truth is we are not in control, God is. And this doesn’t mean we sit and watch life pass us by. It means we should choose to focus on the things that we can control and do our best in those areas. It means we spent less time worrying about other factors that only God can handle and put our work and effort into those we can. For example, imagine you’re an athlete, you can’t control the outcome of the race or what position you come, but what you can control is the amount of training you do to improve your speed, you can control what you eat and your habits, etc. So even though you cannot entirely control the outcome of your race and how well you do, you can improve the chances of how well you do.

Like I said before, not being entirely in control does not mean we just sit by and do nothing. I believe it means we trust in God to work it out for our good while doing our best and putting in effort into the factors we can. In most situations, there are factors we can’t control, but hard work and effort are rarely ever part of them. This is me encouraging you to focus on the factors in your personal growth and goals that you can control. Things like your mindset, your work ethic, etc. To do your best, to keep showing up and putting effort towards your goals and towards the person you are trying to be, and trust that it will work out. There is a certain peace that comes from knowing that you did/are doing your best.

We don’t have to fear not being in control because someone who loves us more than we love ourselves is.

Thank you for reading. I apologize for being inconsistent with my posts lately and I will try to get better 🙂

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Just Start

Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.

Napoleon Hill.

Sometimes we tend to want to wait for the right time to start the required process to reach our desired goal. Personally, I am the kind of person that likes to wait for the right time to start doing things. For example, if I plan on studying at 8:00 am, and then I somehow miss it and the time is 8:08 am, I will subconsciously tell myself that the next best time to studying is 9:00 am and proceed to wait until its 9.00 am to start studying. 

The habit of always waiting for the right time to start doing things then extends to bigger things, and that is the reason most people start new fitness goals every Monday (it’s me, I was most people haha). No, but seriously, it’s how we wait for the next week, the next month ,or the next year to start doing things when we could quite simply just start in the present. The problem with waiting for the right time to start is that we are not guaranteed perfect conditions to start working on our goal and we end up wasting a lot of time waiting for the ‘right time’

If you wait until the wind and the weather are just right, you will never sow anything and never harvest anything.

ECCLESIASTES 4:11 (Good News Bible)

This verse further elaborates on the importance of not waiting for the perfect conditions i.e. the right time to start. The weather in this context is the condition, the sowing being the desired process and harvesting being the end goal. If you keep on waiting for the “right time” to start, you might actually never start and will therefore not reach your goal.

The point of this post is to encourage you to stop waiting for the perfect conditions to start working towards your goal. Just start and keep working towards it consistently and you will eventually reach your goal.

“No such thing as the right time, situation, or place. You have all it takes. Just dig within. Exhume all the greatness inside of you and transform the world with an inexhaustible drive and without fear of limitations.”― Chinonye J. Chidolue

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The paralysis that is comparison.

“Comparison paralyzes progress, both of the mind and the society.”

― Abhijit Naskar

The quote that states that comparison is the thief of joy by Theodore Roosevelt is one that comes up almost always when the topic of comparison is mentioned. And whilst I agree that comparison is indeed a thief of joy, I believe that comparison robs us of many other things too. Comparison paralyzes progress and authenticity. It limits who you are and who you aspire to be to someone else when in reality you are made to be so much more than just that. Comparison clouds vision.

Because of social media, we are constantly aware of other people and what’s happening in their lives. That awareness often accelerates discontentment of who we are and where we are at in ours. It is so easy to compare ourselves to other people and to start limiting who we want to be to who they are. Social media is not the basis of all comparison but it does play a huge role for most people.

Personally, I struggled with comparing myself to others in terms of my body. The desire to be different, birthed by comparing myself to others made me discontent with who I was and what God created. I had to understand that I am God’s creation, and what he created is good- it does not need any changes to be good. I had to understand that if I was meant to look different I would but I am this way because that is how I am meant to be. When I came to this understanding, it set me free from using other people as the standard of the best version of me.

You have to realize that you are who you are meant to be. Work towards improving yourself and becoming a better version of yourself, not towards becoming like someone else. The world does not need 2 of another person, it needs one of you. Do not rob us of the joy of experiencing the true and authentic you by comparing yourself to others and putting in the effort to become like them.

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  1. So glad it was relevant💛Thank you for reading ✨

  2. Such a timely post… I’ve been so stresses about the things i have no control over. Wonderful reminder that I…

  3. Truly beautiful and a good remainder that God has a plan for us so no need for worrying.

  4. Thank youu for reading ! Hope you feel encouraged 🙂

Small steps; Big Goals.

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together – Vincent Van Gogh

Self development doesn’t really require you to make big, overwhelming changes all at once. It is a journey and as you know, a journey isn’t just one big step; it’s many small steps in the direction of your destination. It’s the small changes that compound to big results.

The easiest and most effective way to achieve any goal is usually to break it down to smaller, less arduous parts. For example, let’s say you want to read more and you don’t particularly enjoy reading. Commiting to reading a book in a day or week is a lot of pressure and makes the task seem hard and draining. But if you decide to commit to reading 5 pages a day, it makes the goal easy to achieve and requires less motivation on your part to do it . You’ll tell yourself it’s just 5 pages and as you continue to read 5 pages a day consistently you’ll eventually finish the book. You probably won’t finish that first book in a week but you will develop the habit of reading everyday. You will then gradually increase the number of pages you read a day and end up reading 10 or 20 pages. In the end you do achieve your goal of reading more in a very effective way that benefits you in the long run.

My point is that self development isn’t about making a big dramatic change, because that makes the whole process overwhelming and very challenging. It is about making small changes, and being consistent until you see the big results.

“If you concentrate on small, manageable steps you can cross unimaginable distances.”
― Shaun Hick.

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The Journey Begins

“The beginning is the most important part of the work”- Plato

The Republic.

“Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort,time and energy needed to develop yourself.” – Denis Waitley.

As you can tell from the title, this blog is about personal growth and self-care. The reason I put self care and personal growth together is because the two are highly correlated. Investing time and energy into personal growth is arguably the greatest form of self-care and also an expression of love to yourself.

I started this blog to help and guide those starting on their journey of self development. The goal is to help others and myself grow, to be better than we were yesterday. As Ernest Hemmingway said, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellowman; true nobility is being superior to your former self”

My next blog posts will be be touching on topics mainly to do with personal growth like mindfulness, healthy habits, accountability etc. I honestly hope my posts will help you and motivate you with your personal growth journey.

-Rue.

Feel free to dm me any topic suggestions or anything you’d like to see on the blog.

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